Ppl really do this.

So I've been hearing alot about these so called open relationships and the idea didn't sound like a bad one...if you don't mind your girl or guy being intimate with someone that's not you that is.

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No H8 Campaign

I totally support this campaign! It's everything I want. Acceptance. The main goal of this campaign is simply acceptance. Why is it so hard for America to acknowledge that citizens are citizens and they have unalienable rights...whether they be homosexual or heterosexual. The LGBT community is this generation's target for discrimination. Once upon a time.....discrimination was targeted towards  the black community, then women, now gays. I have hope that this country will realize its own hypocrisy and decide to really live up to its expectations and reputation of being the home of the free.

I'd Rather NOT Be Bipolar.

Bipolar disorder has nearly ruined my social status, my relationship, and my life. I just want this to be over. I feel anger and rage even in the smallest argument. I seek revenge on the people I love the most in this world. It took me a while to finally seek out help for my unhappiness and extreme mood swings. I created my own reality. My life as I knew it was a lie. I forged friendships, honors, happiness...EVERYTHING. I hid behind a smile that earned me compliments. I pretended really hard to be happy. I found the love of my life and haven't even been respectful to her. I sought out revenge on her when I personally felt wronged. When life got me down, I took it out on her. But she hasn't left me and now I realize that if I don't start appreciating her, I could very well lose her. I'm soo good at pretending, but when I begin to feel comfortable around people, I unintentionally push them away. Whether it be because of my language and choice of words, or because my anger and self-pity overcomes me.

In my youth, I have done things that I am not proud of. However, I have come far from previous years, but I am still not done. I have a LONG way to go to happiness. but I must learn to love myself before I can love anyone or accept love from anyone else. My whole life I knew something wasn't right, but could never pinpoint where the anger came from. And the saying that misery loves company was quite true in my case. I look back and I am ashamed of how many useless arguments Ive started with my one and only soulmate. Now I am terrified that she may find comfort in someone else's arms.


Even with the much unwanted medications, I still find myself in situations I wish i could undo. I wish I had a remote controlled life, and whenever I stray from the right path, I could simply push the rewind button and try it again, but that's just a fantasy I have that will never be true.


I have to be strong now more than ever, because I'm about to undergo some serious transformations in my behaviors and attitude. I cannot run anymore people out of my life. In my condition, I need as much support as I can get. I have to change my whole way of life and my whole outlook on life. Yesterday I would have said that life is just something you get through until you die and move on into the afterlife. But today, I see life as something to be enjoyed, and not taken for granted. I can't believe how much time I have wasted on useless, unimportant things. I cannot wait for the day I am UNCONDITIONALLY happy, but until that day I have a task to achieve and I cannot fail. I will not fail.

Tying the knot after 6 decades.

I ran across this when I was surfing the net early one morning. This gay male couple has been together 60 years. If that's not love, then I don't know what is. Seeing things like this gives me hope. Love really can conquer all.


"Tying the Knot After Six Decades
By Michelle Garcia



After a 60-year romance, a gay couple in their 80s tied the knot in Washington, D.C., June 20.

Henry Schalizki and Bob Davis exchanged their vows at the J. W. Marriott in Washington in front of 60 friends and family members, according to The Washington Post. The couple reveals that while Schalizki immediately set his sights on a wedding after the District of Columbia enacted marriage equality, Davis was not as enthusiastic.

"We're accepted as two human beings, always as a couple. I said, 'I don't see any reason for it,'" Davis said. "Besides that, Vera Wang will never make a gown for me to wear.""

Opinions on taking the "Under God" part out of the pledge.

I LOVE MY COUNTRY!!!!! I admire the soldiers who fight for us without asking questions. I am a PROUD believer in Jesus Christ and I know the power he posseses, however I must say that.....According to the 1st amendment we lawfully have to acknowledge and respect that our Christian belief is not the only religion that makes up our diverse country. With that being said, I think that omiting that one part is a considerate idea. Even tho it isn't a popular or accepted idea, it is one that must be debated.

If you don't read any of this pls read: America is the land of the FREE! right? FREEDOM of speech, religion or lack thereof, press etc. With that said, it would ultimatley be hypocritical to keep that section of the pledge.


What do you think?

Relapse

falling fast to take the blame
with nothing left but the rotting rain

drained from me,
my soul flies freely

excited, elated, contented, happy
those emotions could never truly be me

full of anger, rage, lust
ha no one can ever understand me....
I get looks of disbelief even from those i trust.

someone save me, help me live
take my hand and pull me from the pit of my depression.

Why me? i wonder....what have i done?
why must i be the one that
has racing thoughts that won't slow down
fits of rage....i cant calm down

i feel lonely in the deepest crowd
because theres no one to talk to that wont look down
the lowliest of doctors wont take me in
they act like no insurance is a sin

why waste my time with doctors and pyschologists that tell me lies
when i can educate myself to help those like me
i only hope i have enough time

living unmedicated with a disease that could kill
hoping to overcome it with only my strong will

only one thing in this world that can truly make me content....
dancing is my life, without it i couldn't live
don't pity me because im bipolar
dont treat me as if im not normal.


i am the same as you...human
we all make mistakes...we can all learn from them
only difference is that you live your life....
i roam this world with tears and a fake smile.

Stop and Listen

Stop and Listen

listen to the sounds of life
the bird's song...
the leaves' whistle...
have you noticed?
Sometimes you should just stop and listen.

listen to the sounds of life
the wave's roar...
the wind's howl...
can you hear it?
Sometime you should just stop and listen.

listen to the sounds of life
the thunder's crack....
the rain's drumroll...
have you heard it?
sometimes you should just stop and listen.

i have listened to the sounds of life
the screams at late at night
heart beating.....
faster....
faster....
head spinning.....
faster....
faster....
tears falling......
faster.....
faster.....
hands,
yearning for someone
to pull them out of
the nightmare they called
home....reaching
higher....
higher....
calls for help getting....
louder...
louder...

BUT WAIT!

Eighteen years of misery and pain,
don't you think it's time for a change?

I wanna hear the sounds of life.
I made a change for the better

as the months fly by
faster....
faster...
and friendships grow
deeper...
deeper...
emotions become
clearer....
clearer...
and love for others and myself grow
stronger.....
stronger....
now those screams have begun to get
softer....
softer....
today they're gone.

Can you hear the sounds of life?

Question Marked Expression

*This means nothing in particular...just something that came to me.



I try to find the reason why
I stare in to the distance

Thinking of nothing in particular
Seeing nothing and yet everything
Wanting nothing more than to fade into the view

I often wonder why
My mind will up and leave

Wandering far off
With thoughts so horrid
Thoughts I should never dare to speak.

I cannot help but ask myself why
I allow myself to be hurt by you

Mindlessly flirting, subconsciously lusting
Its apparent you want
Her instead of me in your possession.

I know not the answer to anything I believe
And until then

I will stare at you with a question marked expression.

Rest in Paradise Bethany!

My best friend was sent home April 21st, 2008. I have a lot of unanswered questions. A lot of things dont add up for me. I miss her dearly. The anniversary of her death is coming up soon. I wrote her this poem a few months after her death. Hope you like it.

FOR B

Standing on a rooftop
watching the scurryin ppl below
who r in existence with no knowledge of me

Looking down .... down
I move closer to the edge
the wind howling in my ear, tauntingly
I stop

Does she see me? I close my eyes

My thoughts flash back to the very moment that Kary spoke to me on the phone you see
I did not like her
but she was the only one who could connect you and me

My mind thought back to the first time we met....
when it was you, me, my two cousins and Kary
but somehow
we all drifted apart
and now
its just me

I couldn't help but think of all the times you confided in me
hurt by men...
blinded by our shared disease
forced to mature before you time
now all i can give you is this rhyme place upon my heart
to write

I reminiscence

Haha
Do you remember the time you were doing that thing you weren't sposed to do
and the agitated flame
flew in your face
and when you looked up...
those perfectly arched red eyebrows had vanished?
Good times B

I wish I could take you back to the 7th grade
when you thought your secret was unknown
you tried to mask it so well
but as your friend I could tell
although I never let you know I knew

Damn B, we got all these great memories
if I asked for more
would you think I was being greedy?

I hope not b/c

I remember how you always wanted me to refer to you by your middle name
but to me...
JAZZ just didn't sound right so instead
I just dubbed you B

How about the time you "accidently" informed me of you new lover
and then tried to cover it up b/c you didn't know how to tell me
it was a she rather than a he
That night we discovered another shared quality

And I'll never forget the conversation
we had not even a week later
about how you were attracted to me.
Well, truth be told I wanted you too but
we had far too similarities

But now,
I wish I relied on my 1st instinct
we always think the ones we love the most would never leave this Earth
but
now I'm sitting on the ledge thinking of you
when you needed me most

In Grand Prairie when I believed you were in Austin
the truth to me is unclear.

B, honestly
you were wayy more than a friend to me.
you were my inspiration to be better
no, not b/c of your mistakes and insecurities
but b/c of your accomplishments and abilities
and no matter what the occasion
you were ALWAYS there to comfort me

I'll never forget that in your depressed state of mind
you cut your wrists too deep and they had you hosptilized....
...............
but you got better

Now as I hold this razor to my skin
and pray for the courage
just to begin to part my wrists like the Red Sea

I can't........

Could it be?
Could it be you , holding me back
pushing me towards brighter days
and a happier life?

Can you see me?
Are you my angel?
cuz you really should be

As my eyes open I'm thrown back into reality
I notice pigeons that begin to float down beside me
sarcastically cocking their head from side to side
as if daring me to try to fly

And I'm still wishing I could
hop into that DeLorean and rewind time
back to your 18th bday....

a day you were still breathing
your heart was still beating
and your eyes were still blinking
But I Can't

Instead I'm forced to remember
that seventeend days after your 18th bday
you broke into some dude's house
for a reason unknown to me and they pulled out guns.....

Did you have one?

Instead I'm forced to imagine you
arguing and
yelling and
of course holding your own until....

you fall down

Neck bleeding due to a copper intruder
you are gasping for air
and the ones around you
just stare in disbelief

A metal machine in someone's
sweaty palm and shaking hand
was pushed and pulled
and then a copper bullet
marked its path and vowed to take down any obstacle in its way
......including you

So now I'm standing on the edge
hoping and praying
that this is all some sick joke
and you're still alive

Or that

They somehow mistook you for another Bethany
and you're hiding out
waiting for us to find you
BUT....

When I read your sad and sorrow obituary
and sit and contemplate its actuality
I realize my truth is merely a......
False fantasy